Episode 40 -- "I know we should love the child we have"

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“I worry that my boy is not very clever and I am secretly embarrassed and ashamed about this. 

My family is over-invested in achievement and especially educational achievement and the cousins' fabulous exam results are continuously talked about within our family WhatsApp. 

It is very distressing to feel ashamed of my boy who is both kind and funny. 

I'm not sure how I should navigate this - should I just declare that he isn't 'academic' and thereby lead the rest of the family to make insinuations that he is a bit stupid? Although I don't equate intelligence with qualifications, everyone else does. Or should I continue to not speak about his exam results - even though this is not working and I know the family has silently decided he is a bit stupid? 

To be perfectly honest, I am very disappointed that he is not bright and competent in school and I wish he was. 

I know we should love the child we have and not wish them to be different but I can't help having these thoughts.”