Episode 27 -- "I feel like I'm failing everyday"

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“I‘m scared that I won't heal fast enough I grew up with difficult family circumstances and a complete emotional neglect. In my early twenties I had five years of psychoanalysis and worked through my childhood experiences. For the first time in my life I felt truly accepted and understood; I thought I was healed.

A few years later I got married and we started a family, I was overwhelmed with joy and gratitude after our first child was born. As our family grew the demands became bigger; stress and exhaustion accumulated, and I discovered that the parenting model that I experienced is still inside me and very alive. This came as a huge shock and a surprise and with enormous guilt, shame and negative self-talk around it.

 I started doing everything in my power to be kinder, less reactive and triggered, I spend every spare second listening or reading something that might help me on my journey and I started seeing a therapist again (due to the financial and time situation only once per month though). I want nothing more but to be kind and loving mom, support my kids emotional needs and my kids to remember the joy and delight in my eyes when I’m with them, and yet I feel like I’m failing them every day.

I don’t know if I can heal fast enough to be the mom that they need.”

Lisa mentions the book ‘Playful Parenting’ by Laurence Cohen https://g.co/kgs/uEhu2F

while Stella mentions the book ‘All Joy and No Fun’ by Jennifer Senior https://g.co/kgs/D91Lzu